The new normal..

This week has felt 'normal'. I haven't taken a single pain killer for at least 3 or 4 days - I didn't even notice when I stopped needing to take them! Things still feel 'weird', but there is no internal structural pain and I didn't notice when that became normal either!

I have been to the gym 3 times this week and I'm going to Aquafit tonight. I have been for a swim too, and managed 14 lengths, over the initial 6, before it became 'uncomfortable'. I am doing more and more at the gym, yesterday I warmed up 15 mins on the exercise bike, 15 mins elliptical trainer, 15 mins stepper, then a cool down on the hand bike and exercise bike. Some stretching and done. I properly got my sweat on and IT FELT GREAT!! I feel great! I put 12lbs on during the course of everything (8lbs of that must be the screws right?! 1lb a screw!), and I've already lost 5 of them.. I love going to the gym, I love feeling high on effort and I love not having to watch what I eat.

Whilst at the gym yesterday, I decided I feel a bit like a fledgling bird when it comes to running.. An adolescent eagle maybe, a big bird anyway. I am big enough to be able to fly, I know I should be able to fly, but I haven't tested it yet and it is scary. No one 'official' or 'professional' has told me I can't or shouldn't run, but there is something inside me that has so far stopped me from having a go.. but I can feel the hesitation leaving me and I hope it won't be long until I'm brave enough to start on the C25K again.

Being pain free and feeling good is quite timely really - Work starts on Saturday!! How quickly did that time fly! I am feeling mixed emotions about it, equally excited and terrified. I'll let you know how I get on - keep your fingers crossed for me at 10am on Saturday.

Last night Vikki and Elle spontaneously came round in the evening, and we made some button jewellery. What really pleased me, besides their company, was that it was so NORMAL! I love normal! The last crafting session I hosted I couldn't move by the end of the evening and clearing up was hideous. (Ironically, when you look at the post, I didn't mention my back at all!)

Anyway, I made a little necklace - thanks for the picture Vikki!

So. I guess you could say my week is upbeat this week. I am loving normal, I am loving being pain free and I am loving the endless possibilities. Long may it last!

Back on it, Baby!

I have had a busy couple of days Clanettes, and it has been fabulous! 

On Thursday I went back to breastfeeding clinic (Vikki came to hold my hand and I made us late because I was having a flap. Thank you for being so patient!). I managed the whole session - it was manic frankly, and I came straight home and went to bed.  Which was just as well because Vicky (yet again, thank you!) collected me that evening and we trotted down the road to Elle's house. What started as a bit of innocent jelly fish crochet poncho making (they are at a festival this weekend with an under the sea theme and Elle whipped up some costumes.. They look great and will be amazing once she strings them with solar fairy lights!), quickly became a wine and sausage roll party.

I drank far too much wine, and had a ridiculously good time - apologies for my mad ranting about most things ladies! Crochet carnage!

Man oh man I paid for it on Friday morning. I was pretty ruined to be fair, and had to be up sparkly and bright to go and see my consultant and have physio.. Thank goodness Paul had the day off and could get everything ship shape.


Immediately on arrival at the hospital I had more X-rays done - they look exactly the same as the first set I had done as I left hospital. Lets have another look at the cringing photo.

The photo on the left is upside down, but shows a face on view, so the cross strap is actually at the bottom of my spine and makes sure all the screws load bear rather than just one or two. The photo on the right is indeed looking at my spine through my left side. So you can see that I have no flexibility through that part of my spine.

Seeing the consultant was great. He was delighted with my progress and how the bone grafts are healing. He has encouraged me to get back to sports, taking care to go as slowly as I need and to make sure that I lie down and put my spine into neutral if it gets too much. Ultimately, the more active I am, the easier it will get. Music to my ears!

Seeing the Physio immediately afterwards was good - she had me on the stepper and doing all sorts of core strengthening exercises.

So immediately Lucy and I went back to the gym last night, and had a swim. I was hugely nervous. Sunday mornings in the gym are quiet, there are no full time staff around and it is easy to be anonymous. Friday night is not like that. Our gym is small and everyone knows everyone - particularly when you spend as much time there as Lucy and I do (did!) (do!). I don't know why I am so reticent to talk about Spinal Fusion in real life, but I am. Lucy thinks I am silly, and she is probably right. She usually is. I can prattle on til the cows come home on here, my blog, but I find it hard in person. The long and short of it, I suppose, is that I am embarrassed. Who the hell has their spine fused? The whole thing seems so melodramatic.

Anyway. Everyone was suitably interested in my absence, then in my stick and then in 'Spinal Fusion? No way!'. Yes way. Way embarrassing.

I did 15 mins on the elliptical trainer, 15 mins on the bike, 5 mins on the treadmill with a grade 2 incline and then we hit the pool. Ok. What I mean is, limped to the pool. The lifeguards had kindly put the disabled steps out for me and in I got. Lucy, you made the whole experience so much easier for me, you were so confident that it was so normal. Exactly what I needed thank you.
Getting in the pool was weird, almost as if the buoyancy exaggerated everything. Everyone has a spine, and yes you can touch it and feel it, but generally speaking you can't 'feel' your spine. Even beforehand, at the height of my pain, I couldn't 'feel' my spine, just pain in the 'catch' around it. Last night I could feel my spine. There was no pain, the whole thing was pain free, but I was aware of 'scaffolding' holding my spine.. It's hard to describe. I suppose if I describe it by saying that when you wear a glove, your hand can feel the glove and there is no pain, but it isn't like gripping with a normal grasp.. does that make sense?
I know that this weird scaffolding sensation is actually how it feels to be me now, and I know it will become normal, but last night it was weird and together with extra weird rippling water on my weird burning sensation skin, we got out after 6 s l o w lengths.
But I did it. I went to the gym and I went swimming. Then I immediately went to bed and was grateful to sleep like a log and wake up with that 'Yay, its the day after the day after the night before, and I'm not hungover!' feeling.

So there we go. 6 weeks post spinal fusion on Monday and I went to the gym and swam last night. I always joked that I'd be 'Back on it' by 6 weeks. One of those scary, cocky, please be ok jokes. Well this time the joke is not on me. I'm Back on it, baby!

So its Saturday now. It's Beltane weekend, on of our festivals of celebration (Totally missed Ostara whilst I was in hospital!). For the last 10 years we have ALWAYS camped at Beltane (see last year at the bottom of this post here - ironically I also talk about physio for my back! Some things don't appear to change!) and it is weird that this year we aren't camping. In fact everything is pretty normal today. Normal is GOOD! The Bigs have gone to their respective Saturday morning clubs with Paul and Niamh and here I am, blogging.

Bebe is 5 a week on Monday, and as she has shown an interest in a dance class, my parents got her a uniform for her birthday - which she has had early today. She was DELIGHTED!

Happy bank holiday weekend,
Thanks for reading x x

Sum it Up on Su.. er.. Monday!

Apologies for the delay Clanettes! Yesterday was manic and I have so much to share that I didn't manage to finish writing everything before the day was over. So Sum it Up on Monday it is this week!

Monday
I signed all my contracty bits with Kiddicare today and I start on Sat 23rd March. I'm hugely excited!! As part of my contract, I'm obliged not to talk about them online, so from now I may refer to work, but I won't really be talking about them again - except to say I'm sure they're going to be a great employer and I looked forward to a long working relationship with them!!

Tuesday
Lucys birthday and crafting today - see last weeks post here.
It was also pancake day and Paul cooked an amazing pancake tea -  courtesy of Jamie's 15 minute meals.

Wednesday
Niamhs birthday! See that post here. Thank you for such lovely feedback on Niamhs birth story. It was a great experience and I was very lucky - I would always recommend a midwife!!

Thursday
Valentines day and MRI day! Paul worked from home today, so I could go to the hospital this afternoon. Paul and are aren't particularly romantic, we know we love each, we know its for this life and the next, but its not something we express all the time. I was totally shocked and thrilled with 3 little parcels and a beautiful card this morning. Then dinner too!

Paul admitted he loves me more than bike - BIG admission.. bhahahahaha!

 This is a print by Josephine Wall - The tree spirit and the dryad - see here.

Salmon en Croute (My fave meal of all time!) with asparagus and edamame beans.

 Washed down with sparkling wine and a cheeky lemon mousse for pud. Thank you Paul xx

The MRI was dull. The traffic was the most hideous bit, and I don't find anything out til next Monday 25th. Fingers crossed - although I don't know if I am more worried that they WILL find something, or that they WON'T..? You know..?

Friday

Inset day - the kidlets and I went out about, see that post here.

Saturday and Sunday
All three kidlets went to stay with Rae Rae and Chester over night on Saturday! Paul and I dropped them off at 2pm and collected them at 11am the following day..! We dropped them off, then went to Paul's gym for a swim, before heading to Sainsburys/M&S for a spot of browsing and dinner choosing, before renting 'Taken 2' and having a quiet night. I still awake stupidly early on Sunday morning, mooching around a bizarrely silent house! We cooked a nice breakfast and then Paul set off to run back to Rachel's and I left a while later in the car.. He ran his first half marathon! So proud of him!! 13.1miles!!

Thank you so much Rach and Chez, they had such a brilliant time and are brimming with the excitement from a sleep over at your house.

After we had collected them, we all went back to Paul's gym and went swimming. We then dashed home so that I could get to my last swimming lesson.

A great last session it was too. Chris, the instructor, commented on my breast stroke 'I would be hard pushed to find another swimmer in a normal lane swim doing a better technique..' Thanks very much! I feel so much better about the strokes really, and I just need to keep my practice up. I was the only one bumped up to the advanced group if and when I book anymore. I have LOVED the sessions! I will def book again.

So that was us next week. Another week of no exercise. I ache to get back on my bike, or go out for a run and I am looking forward to moving forward with the consultant next week.

Today we mostly...

Mermaid Tales #3 and #4

After my #2 Mermaid Tales update (see here), the lovely Jo (I have mentioned her blog before, see here - way to go with your running Jo! I know just how you feel re twirling and I can't wait to get back to it) sent me this great feedback:

"Hiya! Comment for your blog - but I knew would be long winded so thought I would stick it here instead! Take from it what you will - some thoughts on technique-y stuff which has helped me improve in the last few years....
Crawl = propelled with arms and helped by hip rotation/stretch. Feet/legs are for stability and can wear you out if used too much.
Breaststroke = propelled with legs, arms for stability and guiding the head into a looooong glide (at point of propulsion by legs).
So in terms of crawl, when you stretch an arm out in front of you - really reach and rotate your body at the same time right the way down to your hips. So if you are reaching with your right hand, your left side of your body is rotating in the water, left hip to surface, right hip to bottom of pool. Make every stroke with the arms count, imagine your hands are buckets, scoop the water behind you. When you reach, the opposite hand is pushing behind and as you rotate out and the arm comes back to side of body, this gives you perfect space to breathe. (tilt your head out as your arm is about your side and while your reaching arm is still out in front of you - this gives you so much more stability when breathing). Try and keep your leading arm out in front of you until the other arms comes back to join it - very likely you will be told to 'windmill' the arms which is an older way of thinking and generally working one arm at a time will give you so much more time to breathe. (try it!) And more time to breathe means you are likely to be able to do crawl for longer stretches
Make sure you are breathing out slowly and steadily in the water and not gulping in air too fast (this raises heart rate which can make it you want to immediately breathe again, which is no good if you are practising bilateral breathing (ie every 3rd stroke)
Despite what you might be told, when you have good technique with the arms, the legs are barely needed. Kicking them furiously does little for propulsion and tires you out and requires you to breathe faster and more frequently. Watch the elite - you will notice they have a slow and steady kick - almost non existent at times.
For breaststroke, less is more - less strokes, more glide! Glide with your face in the water, with your eyes looking at the bottom of the pool (not ahead). The glide will coincide with a big powerful kick (just as you describe on your blog) although be careful about the snap - there is such an injury described as 'breaststroke knee' from being too rough on the joint - though this is meant to be minimised by swimming different strokes regularly. Your arms can help by making the scoop useful again but not too hard - let your legs do the work."

I really appreciated this feedback Jo, so useful, thank you very much x

#3 

Last week I had my third lesson and we concentrated on swimming with floats and getting our leg techniques correct. Because we weren't doing the full stroke or technique, just drills, I wasn't able put Jo's tips into practice and  I struggled slightly by the end, my Back was tired and I had had enough.

#4

Tonight was my fourth and penultimate lesson and I had taken care to have an easy day, so my Back wasn't too shabby when I got in the pool (Gasp! I know, right!) and tonight was AMAZING! Everything just clicked!! I was reaching and breathing in front crawl, and snapping my legs round for a super long glide in breaststroke. Just great! Rather than drills tonight, we spent time doing the full proper strokes and getting feedback after each length. Listening and watching the instructor and remembering what Jo had suggested, meant that I just got what I was doing and I really felt like I had made huge leaps and bound by the end. I am thrilled!

Everyone did so well tonight, that we had a go at Butterfly..! What a joke! I just don't get it, and I had to stop after every dip because I had breathed or flung my arms forward at the wrong time. Plus I think I expected the jerky dolphin motion to hurt (it didn't) and so I tensed up in anticipation and I didn't let myself get into the full swing.

If you have had even a casual thought about improving your stroke, you should do it! Grab the opportunity and surprise yourself. I have loved my swimming lessons and hope to be able to do another set at some point in the future.

Mermaid Tales #2

On Sunday evening I had the second of my six booked swimming lessons and I loved it! I looked forward to it all day (pleased I knew where I was going and what to expect this time!) and I wasn't disappointed.

I arrived nice and early and tried to take a sneaky pic for you Clanettes, the view from the entrance, so you could picture where I am when I'm talking about the lessons. Its a lovely pool, nicer than where I go to swim usually. You can see the two instructors - Chris is in the yellow top, he takes my group.

Because we had missed last week due to the snow, we spent the first part of this week refreshing ourselves on what we remembered talking about 2 weeks previously. Going in pairs, the instructor watched us swim all three techniques and then offered a critique of our style.

Then we picked up the floats to keep us from using our arms and concentrated on our legs for breast stroke, before looking at reach in front crawl and keeping ourselves floating whilst swimming back stroke.

I realised that I get most of my speed from my arms in breast stroke, and I should actually be propelling myself with mostly just my legs. I have altered my technique (hard to describe, but I now bring my feet to my bum and snap them out, rather than trying to form my legs into a circle.. yeah.. hard to describe!) and I can feel it is quicker, but man it is tiring! I went swimming last night (Monday) and practised both front crawl and breast stroke and could really feel where my muscles are not used to the new technique - I haven't felt so hideous in the water for a long time, and that was nice actually. Making a change felt good. I am going to have to just stick with practise for a while I think, and concentrate on making the suggested adjustments, rather than swimming for time or distance right now.

Anyway, I digress. So yes, the instructor is really good at showing correct form and with our goggles we are able to watch him demonstrate under the water as well as on top. Then we practise in our pairs and he critiques. Its really interesting to watch the others do it as well, what looks like great technique is often slow and with a couple of tweaks, its soon speeded up.

For front crawl I have realised that my breathing is all down to my reach (how far I push my hand into the water ahead of me), the longer my reach, the more time I have to turn my head.. and I need to just relax! I've been so scared of the breathing thing I have avoided the stroke! I'm learning to just kick for all I'm worth with my legs (tiring! particular after a killer turbo sesh!), but practise my three stroke breathing and just stick with it. Better form can come when I'm confident I won't drown and I don't end every length out of breath.

I'm hoping to get another swim session in this week, and I am already eager for lesson number 3.. Swim fast.. Be the dolphin..

Mermaid tales

I can swim. Of course I can, I talk about it regularly enough. I remember the horror stories my mother likes to regale me with, of lessons from my childhood.. 'You moaned so much that the sweet (A nutalls mintoes to be precise - do you remember these? I haven't had one probably since my last childhood swimming lesson) you had as bribery would fall out of your mouth' (She tells this story, shaking with laughter and I have no clue why its funny..?)

Anyway, I digress. I can swim well enough, breast stroke is my stroke of choice, hell I completed last years triathlon with breast stroke, I can't knock it. I can do breast stroke til the cows come home and not worry about breathing or tiring and I just keep going. Front crawl I have the basics down, but I really struggle to breathe correctly and so I have to stop every couple of lengths to catch my breath. Back stroke is just slow and dull. Butterfly..? Butter what?

So I booked myself a course of 6 lessons via the university (see here), on the intermediate level and hoped for the best. I figure that if I want to keep training, and keep heading towards a quicker triathlon time, then I need to work on all three disciplines rather than let a weakness slow me down.

Today was the the day. I HATE doing new things. I mean, I obviously don't, because I think I've been quite adventurous (for me!) over the last year, and if I hated new things then I wouldn't try them. What I mean is, I HATE the thought of it. The disruption, the hassle, you know? I don't hate it enough to stop me, but I hate it enough to worry endlessly about it! I am one of life's worriers - just as I am one of life's criers! Equally, Paul must just dread dealing with me sometimes. I spent all of this afternoon worrying about where I was going, where I was going to park, what time I should leave so I wasn't late, if I was going to be the biggest and slowest house wife in the pool.. all those irrelevant things annoy me.. so they must drive Paul barmy! He is very good though, particularly when we both know I'm nervous, and he 'handles' my insania calmly.

I left with oodles and oodles of time to spare and even though I had trouble parking, I still had 20 minutes to wait once I arrived at the pool. So I had plenty of time to watch the beginners group and wonder what the hell I was doing, yet again.

Once poolside, I quickly became aware that of the 12 of us in the intermediate class, I was the only English person, I was easily the oldest (damn these student types at a university!) and to add insult to injury, I was the tallest of everyone (male and female) by at least half a foot... sore thumb anyone..!? Because of this, I was the only name the instructors (there were 2 - both embarrassingly attractive) remembered immediately and so I was the guinea pig for everything.

But you know what? I didn't mind! I REALLY ENJOYED MYSELF. We did breadths, instead of lengths tonight. A couple of initial breadths in free style to see what we were all capable of. Then looked at each of the three main techniques briefly, breaking them down with a float to get a feel for how they should work.
As it turns out, I'm quite quick, despite having terrible technique and I can already see how I am going to be able to improve over the remaining 5 weeks. What really surprised me, and I know it shouldn't these days, is that I have good lung capacity, you know, fitness wise, and I was really capable in the pool.

So in a nutshell; I really enjoyed my lesson, I'm looking forward to next week, and at some point I need to start believing in myself a little!

Sum it Up on Sunday - for the whole year too!

Last summary of 2012 Clanettes, so naturally I had to go B I G!! Lets start with this week...

Monday
Christmas eve - 'rest' day

Tuesday

Christmas day - I may have been tucked up inside drinking alcofrol, but Paul was in the game!

Weds

Turbo!

Thursday
Turbo!

I won't keep taking pics of my turbo sessions, don't worry, but I thought these were good for interest. This is me taking a pic of me, looking at my reflection as I see it, in the shed window! (Yes, I am wearing my sweat band!)Then there is the bike towel, known as the 'bike thong' (no really, that is the brand!) to catch the sweat and save the bikes paint work from corrosion.

Friday 

Gym and swim with Lucy. Cept I didn't gym, just swam 20 lengths and then went to Lucys for a much needed Thai Massage (description here). 

Oh Clanettes, I will admit to you that I am suffering with my back again. Its been iffy for two weeks now and I am miserable about it - but full of plans. More on that in another post because I have much more exciting things to share below!

Saturday
'Rest' day - its been a busy week...!

Sunday
Gym and swim with Lucy. We got to the gym super early this morning, because Lucy has written me a new yoga set specifically to build, support and maintain my back. I felt great after 40 mins of this, so I tentatively did did 5k on a bike, and then sweated my Christmas exploits out on the cross trainer for 20mins. Followed by 30 lengths in the pool.


Summary:
W/E 30.12.12
Cycle: 16.5 miles (2 x turbo sessions and 1 x gym session)
Run: None - back not up to running right now
Swim:  50 lengths in 2 sessions


(NOW FOR THE BIT THAT BLEW MY BRAIN AWAY!)
Given that this is the last summary of the year, and given that you know how much I love to record everything.. I thought I would try and tally up this years distances.. this proved to be a mammoth task, but I think the following stats are pretty accurate..

Drum roll please....

In 2012, I have: 

Cycled 1571 miles / 2528.5km 

Run (Starting from absolute zero with the C25K in January) 157 miles / 254km

Swam 1642 lengths of my local pool. 1642 x its 25m length = 41050metres.. 25miles / 41.5km

In total, if every distance for each discipline were added together, I have trained my way through 1753 miles / 2821.5 km.. The equivalent of me going to Bulgaria!!! I AM SO BLOODY PROUD OF MYSELF!!!!!!!!!

I DID THAT! I flogged myself, killed myself, bled, sweat, cried and swore my way to those figures and in hindsight, I have loved every single minute of it. The lows and the highs - there have been many.

My summarising prompted Paul to do the same. No surprise really, but his bike miles are amazing at 5562 miles - the equivalent of cycling LEJOG again and then going straight to Turkey! Only 388hrs in the saddle! His running total is 105 miles.

The main thing I have learnt this is year, is that you may as well do it. Whatever it is, just get on and do it (unless its housework!). The time will pass anyway, the miles will clock up, the little ones count as much as the big ones (sometimes more so!) and looking back at accomplishments, is way better than any regrets.

Whatever you aspire to do, or achieve, or be in 2013, is absolutely within your remit.

Get to it x x