This is that awkard first blog post after nearly three weeks away... I have so much to write and not an easy place to start.
It was mentioned to me a couple of posts ago, that I seem very negative, that I don't seem to be looking forward and that the happy go lucky blog of a while ago was missing. I'll be honest. I didn't take hearing those words very well. It made me angry frankly. Who is anyone to judge my path, and how I am feeling? I'll be over 'it' when I'm good and ready thanks. I own this is experience called life, its mine, all of it.
So I took the well meaning convo and threw my blogging toys out of the metaphorical pram and avoided writing. If I have nothing positive to say, then surely there is no point in writing? But you see, I write this blog for me, as time passes and allows me the privilege of looking back, I like seeing photos and reading anecdotes. I love blogging. I miss blogging.
So I'm blogging.
However hard it was to hear what in essence felt like I was being told 'Its been a year Sarah, stop moping, the op was a massive success, get over it' (Apologies to you, convo-er, I know that will be hard to read, but this is my blog and that's what I felt like you were saying even though I know you weren't. I love you xxx), I have made many small changes and I have realised that what I am feeling goes beyond simply moping. I am not feeling myself and I haven't been for sometime.
So I've pulled my big girl pants on and been to see my dr. It mainly involved me crying lots and saying that I felt unhappy, which is ridiculous, but I do even though I can see all the positive and that I should be on top of the world.. I'm just not feeling the love.
I've been referred to http://www.steps2wellbeing.co.uk/ for some emotional help and support.
There! I've said it!! The elephant can be welcomed into the room - HI NELLY!!
Now that I have said it, I can leave it for a while to sit. Rest assured I will mention it again when I have a better handle on what I'm dealing with.
Thanks for reading Clanettes, my next post will be nice and light, prom prom xxxx