Wednesday, March 19, 2014


This is that awkard first blog post after nearly three weeks away... I have so much to write and not an easy place to start.
It was mentioned to me a couple of posts ago, that I seem very negative, that I don't seem to be looking forward and that the happy go lucky blog of a while ago was missing. I'll be honest. I didn't take hearing those words very well. It made me angry frankly. Who is anyone to judge my path, and how I am feeling? I'll be over 'it' when I'm good and ready thanks. I own this is experience called life, its mine, all of it.

So I took the well meaning convo and threw my blogging toys out of the metaphorical pram and avoided writing. If I have nothing positive to say, then surely there is no point in writing? But you see, I write this blog for me, as time passes and allows me the privilege of looking back, I like seeing photos and reading anecdotes. I love blogging. I miss blogging.

So I'm blogging.

However hard it was to hear what in essence felt like I was being told 'Its been a year Sarah, stop moping, the op was a massive success, get over it' (Apologies to you, convo-er, I know that will be hard to read, but this is my blog and that's what I felt like you were saying even though I know you weren't. I love you xxx), I have made many small changes and I have realised that what I am feeling goes beyond simply moping. I am not feeling myself and I haven't been for sometime.

So I've pulled my big girl pants on and been to see my dr. It mainly involved me crying lots and saying that I felt unhappy, which is ridiculous, but I do even though I can see all the positive and that I should be on top of the world.. I'm just not feeling the love.

I've been referred to for some emotional help and support.

There! I've said it!! The elephant can be welcomed into the room - HI NELLY!!

Now that I have said it, I can leave it for a while to sit. Rest assured I will mention it again when I have a better handle on what I'm dealing with.

Thanks for reading Clanettes, my next post will be nice and light, prom prom xxxx

1 comment:

  1. Sarah - if there's one thing I've learnt over the years - there's no point trying to be happy if you're not feeling happy, bottling up and denying emotions and feelings is as pointless as trying to un-spoil milk by putting it on a radiator - not only will it not work, but it'll only make the situation worse as time passes. And will probably create a smell.

    So write what you want to write, positive, negative, surreal or factual. It's your life and your blog.

    And to quote the Muppet beasties from Labyrinth - "if you ever need us ... for any reason at all ... "