Normal

9 weeks (today!) post spinal fusion
(At what point do I stop counting how long post fusion I am?!)

I have had a lovely lovely lovely weekend, I've had a lovely week actually. Nothing extraordinary happened, but everything is deliciously, fabulously 'normal'. It humbled me to realise as we went swimming as a family on Saturday, that the weekend was our first 'normal' weekend of 2013.. We waited until May to get some 'normality' back.

That's a bit mind blowing actually. Perhaps melodramatic. But definitely the truth.

Saturday started bright and early. We had family breakfast together, before I was dropped at the gym to meet Lucy at 8.15am. Paul took Niamh with him, to drop the Bigs at Karate/Ballet. Lucy and I totally killed it in the gym (more on this in a mo), and as she is working on a sewing project, we had it out to assess its progress whilst on the exercise bikes (bikes and sewing! my fave things!) (I took a pic (of course!) of the sewing and the exercising, but I need to save it until Lucy has given the gift). Lucy then dropped me at my house, and as no one else was back yet, I had a peaceful shower and coffee. Once everyone was home, Niamh went for a nap, whilst Paul and the Bigs mowed the front and cleared up outside. Then we had lunch before going for family swimming. The Bigs are AMAZING at swimming now, they are a joy to see in the water - Niamh is fearless and jumps in at every opportunity which is a little scary! After swimming we came home, had family tea, kidlets went to bed and then Lucy returned for the evening and we shared in the Worldwide Womb Blessing (This was my post about our last blessing, a life time ago now!)whilst Paul went to the gym.

What a glorious, normal, happy day! NORMAL!! N O R M A L!!! Pre-fusion I wouldn't have been able to gym AND swim, I might not have even be able to manage one of them... Paul and I both remarked on it as we got out of the swimming pool. The things you don't know you miss til you miss them!

Going back to my gym session, I posted this to a running group I belong to -

"Any thoughts anyone..? Physio was double booked on Friday, so I wasn't seen and couldn't get advice.. My next appointment is in another week.. I am impatient.. I had thought I wouldn't be able to run now because I would have lost my running fitness (fitness is fine actually), I didn't consider that fusion would be the block.. So I did a little test on the treadmill on Saturday, only 10 mins brisk walking, only nudging it up to jog 3 times just for a few seconds and on the third go I was really aware that I probably wasn't physically ready. Back felt REALLY weird. Anyway. When I swam 3 weeks ago it felt really weird.. when I first got back on the cross trainer it felt really weird.. Both of these now feel good and 'normal'.. So my question is this! Because the treadmill is impacting where other machines aren't, should I push myself or hang on a bit longer..? Thanks for reading, yours, frustrated in Southampton :-)"

Basically, what has become my 'normal' (love that word!) set in the gym, is 15 min warm up on the exercise bike, 30 mins crazy sweating on the cross trainer, 10 mins cool down on the bike/or the treadmill, followed by physio stretches with the exercise ball. An hour in total. This is all well and good, but I want and need to run! I don't feel ready to go out on the road on my bike yet. The fact that I don't feel ready suggests I'm not. But I DO feel ready to get back to running, however awkwardly and slowly, so I need to make moves in that direction.. But what to do??

So Sunday, yesterday, I worked (2nd day on the job) and Paul brought the kidlets in for face painting, and took a sneaky snap of me.

Work is good, and I am enjoying how 'normal' (ha ha!) it is to go to work. It seems to have given me focus too. Because I have 'lost' a day, I am slightly more organised.. Maybe? Maybe not! Ha, anyway. I am enjoying being out, with a different routine, learning new things and meeting new people.

Physically I have plateaued. But I think that's ok. I am in amazing shape all things considered. To look at me walking about now, I don't think you would know I have had surgery, I have lost my odd gait. I have strange niggles. I still don't know what is normal sensation. I get tired - I took super strong pain killers to get through work yesterday and I was in bed ridiculously early. But I think that's ok. Its ok right?

Its half term this week and we are off to stay with my parents for a few days - then back at the weekend for my birthday (33 years young!), Paul's half iron man, and work.. How gloriously normal :-)

Thanks for reading x x