Recipe #7

Whilst we're off enjoying Devon, I thought I'd share another recipe with you Clanettes.

Mushroom soup with stilton, apple and walnut croutes

See the recipe here  yet another Jamie 15 minute meal winner. We LOVE this recipe book.

Its very difficult to make mushroom soup look good - its just grey! So you'll have to take me word for it, it was super delicious and the croutes were AMAZING!

Happy eating x x x

An amazing end to the week

Clanettes! Tonight I am coming to you from a fabulous converted barn deep in the Devon countryside, from a place called Bideford. We are staying here for a week, to celebrate my Dads 60th birthday and have a family holiday.

Yesterday my nearest and dearest friends held a cake and fizz morning for me, because I won't see some of them now til after The Op. I was so touched by their thoughtfulness. They had baked, we had bucksfizz, an amazing soundtrack (all the songs had 'back' in their title - i.e. Taylor Swift, we are never getting 'back' together.. loved the thought process!) and I was lifted and humbled by their care for me. My only regret from the morning is that I wasn't able to get some pics. Thank you so much ladies, it means the world to me x x x

Yesterday was also parents evening at school, and both Lochie and Bebe are doing so well. I think I have already mentioned, Lochie is on the 'gifted and talented' register and is flying along. Bebe has really found herself at school, and I was proud to see she was one of very few on the '100% attendance wall of fame'.

Bebe is on the left hand side in the green coat - partially obscured by the flash, but I didn't dare attempt a second covert piccy!

Today we left bright and early and drove to Bideford. An hour into our journey Niamh was hugely sick, vomiting everywhere and I felt so sorry for her. I used to get (and on occasion still do) car/travel sick and I could really empathise with her. It was a ludicrous situation, because we pulled over in the middle of nowhere, armed only with wet wipes against a tide of thick porridge vomit..!! Niamh bless her, shivered in just her vest whilst we wiped everything down.

My parents arrived at our barn first, we arrived not long after, and my sister and her family arrived this evening. Em was in hospital herself this week, and I am looking forward to spending the week aiding her recovery.

Some shots of the downstairs - its huge, amazing and open plan

More updates to come, happy weekend x x x

Touching base..

Hi Clanettes!
After last weeks post, work came through and said they would hold my job open for me, if I could make it in on Monday (yesterday) and join the rest of the new team for the first day of training. To say I was delighted, thrilled and over the moon is an understatement. Its the principle of the thing really - to have my job open and waiting for me is the same as assuring me that my life will wait until I'm well enough to get Back to it.

Yesterday was just great. Paul took Niamh to my parents super early o-clock before going to work himself, Emma took the Bigs before school for me and dropped them off, then my amazing parents drove Niamh home in time to collect the Bigs from school. THANK YOU!

As the store is still being built and fitted, the new team are training in a hotel for now and the day was full of high energy, laughter and team building games in the afternoon. I really enjoyed it. I am gutted that I'm going to miss the next 8 weeks, but so excited to get stuck in come May.

We had a great weekend. We got loads of jobs done in the house, Lochie went to karate grading and achieved his green belt, we did some craft jobs (all to be revealed soon!) and we are looking forward to going on holiday on Friday.

In other news, Paul (http://www.paul-christie.co.uk/) and his friend Adam (http://www.adambrushett.co.uk/)have agreed to work with Neuroblastoma Alliance UK, a charity working to beat childhood cancer. See their website http://www.childrenscancer.org.uk/
Paul and Adam have formed a new 'Charity Heroes' team and they will be raising money and awareness for childrens cancer, with some of their sporting escapades. Its all very exciting for them, take a look at their first vlog:

and then the out takes!!
 

We are in full holiday prep mode here, and with the house being tidier than usual my mood is good. Lots to look forward to next week - full denial re the 25th is for now at least, is working well.

Thanks for reading x x

Lessons

Paul has gone back to work properly this week, the Bigs are at school and Niamh and I have taken some time out of our normal routine. We are deep cleaning the house, and if I'm honest, I'm avoiding life. I'm avoiding all the things we would normally fill our time with. This is a good and positive thing and it's what I need to do right now.

As I have mentioned, I am struggling with my fear of the operation and my recovery, but really, since having the news from the consultant I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I had been treating myself like a melodramatic school child, convinced that there was nothing wrong with me, I have pushed and pushed myself to remain active and 'normal' and now I feel like I have permission to admit if I am in pain or if I want to go to bed early, or if I need to make some changes to our daily routine.

Because Paul works so far away, I am on my own with the kidlets from 6am til 7pm and because of how things currently are, the kidlets and I have changed many little things, but principly our morning school routine. I can't push the pushchair right now, without suffering later, so Niamh is walking there and back twice a day - except in case of emergency. We are all really enjoying it! The bigs are being super helpful, we are being super organised (I am not trying to do a million jobs before the school run) and by leaving the house earlier, everyone is less stressed, we are all able to walk together and talk (Shock horror!) rather then being late and frog marching ourselves up to school. Even this morning, in the pouring rain, we all donned our waterproofs, wellies and left with plenty of time to spare and enjoyed a walk to school.

There is one really valuable lesson right there - I enjoy my children's company, I enjoy walking with them and talking to them - I had forgotten this!! It is so easy to get stuck in the humdrum inevitable-ness that is a routine (the school run is just one example) that you can forget that some situations are only stressful because you make them like that. I am so lucky, I don't have anywhere to be, so why was I flying around before school like a woman on a mission to complete an entire days tasks before 8.30am?

Another lesson. I realllllllly want to job the I was offered and accepted just a couple of weeks ago. I thought I wanted a job to put some extra cash in my pocket, but actually, I was excited about the job in general. The new store, the new team, the new experience, the change in my routine.
The irony of staying at home for 5 years, and then within weeks of finding a job, needing surgery 2 days after my start date, is not lost on me!
I will admit I put off ringing them. What a cringey phone call!!  Go with bright and breezy Sarah! Be enthusiastic and keen! 'Hi there! You offered me a job and I accepted last week? Weeeelllll... I can't start for 8 weeks.... But please let me assure you that I definitely want the job, I am a quick learner and I am confident that I can learn on the job...' Gah! It was a hideous phone call, and it didn't go as positively as I would have liked. I rang them back this morning, after hearing nothing for 48hrs and it felt a bit more positive... Come on guys! I'm a keeper, let me start in May, you know you want me! You know you need me!

Another lesson I have learnt this week. I miss exercise. I love exercise. Specifically I love triathlon. When I admitted defeat and stopped exercising in January, I wondered if that was it, if I was admitting that actually I am not as active as I had kidded myself and if I would be happy to sit back on the sofa.
I am thrilled to realise that I am looking forward to getting back to it. I am aware its going to be tough - recovery notwithstanding, just starting the C25K again is going to be killer both mentally and physically, but I am looking forward to it. Each achievement will have double the meaning going forward, a step in the right direction, a step towards where I was, but more importantly, a step towards where I know I want to be.

I feel like I am coming out of my fugg of self pity Clanettes, and realising that the world is still my oyster, I am losing nothing by having surgery. I have the world to gain and I am excited x x

Back for an update on the main topic..

So. Surgery is booked for the 25th March. We are still going on holiday to Cornwall the week before, and I will go in the Monday we are home. My mum will come and stay so that Paul has some support and the kidlets will go to school etc, then we will go straight to stay with my parents for the 2 weeks of Easter school holiday.

This all feels so sudden to me. I look at the posts I wrote in November, just 12 weeks ago and I was feeling amazing with lots of busy plans going on and huge amounts of exercise, then over Christmas the odd back niggle and now I am at the point of being grateful if I get to lunch time before I start taking pain killers to keep me on my feet. By the evening I am reclined with a wheat bag and then in bed, with Paul taking my socks off for me because I can't bend to them.

RIDICULOUS!! I'm so angry about it all - which again is ridiculous because this is totally treatable and fixable and in another 12 weeks I will be getting back on my beloved bike..

My MRI scan showed that I have a 'Three level disc degeneration and a Spondylolisthesis'. I'm sorry, a what?? Huh? I have spent hours googling the term and I think the best description of the problem is found here. Anyway, I guess the important bit is that it can be fixed and I am having an 'L3-S1 instrumented fusion' to pull everything back into place...

It will look like this..

I am so scared. That is my overwhelming feeling really. Scared of having it done, scared of not having it done. Scared I will be able to feel those screws for the rest of my life. Scared it goes wrong... yada yada.  I had another little freak out yesterday when speaking to the consultants secretary and she casually told me I'd be spending the first 2 nights in intensive care... Isn't intensive care for really poorly people...?

Ahem. Anyway. I am taking the opportunity to have a house sort out. A spring clean if you will. I have talked in the past about not being a fan of house work, well that's fine for me, but I don't feel like I can leave it for my mum who IS a fan of house work. Plus, she will be sleeping in our bedroom (Paul will move to the spare bed in the lounge) and I would like everything to be as easy and stress free as possible for her whilst she is in charge.

Today I started in the lounge, deep cleaning and sorting. This feels like something positive I can cope with. My mum notwithstanding, it will be nice to come home and recuperate in a clean and clear house. I just need to do a little bit everyday and hey presto!

Well, that's the plan, anyway.
Thanks for reading xxx

Sum it Up on Su...er... Monday again!

Hi Clanettes

I was very emotional last week, I have felt extremely shocked at the prospect of massive surgery. So we hibernated for a couple of days. We then spent last weekend visiting my parents, who are back from holiday and we celebrated my mothers birthday, and so I was not able to log on and blog.. You missed me huh!!

A selection of pics from last week..

 Rag wreathing..

 Kidlets decoupatch..

 Birthday cake

 Coriander seedlings

The lavendar sprouted!! This has thrilled me.

Thanks for Reading x x

Recipe #6

Hi Clanettes - lets go with a nice light hearted post! My fave recipe of the week..

Spicy Cajun Chicken with Smashed Sweet Potato & Fresh Corn Salsa

- the BEST Jamie's 15 minute meals recipe yet in my opinion!

Found the recipe online finally - see here! (I substituted Okra (YUK!) for green beans)

An amazingly tasty, super speedy, fresh and delicious meal... LOVE x x