4 weeks tomorrow post spinal fusion.
I have struggled mentally over the last few days, and as I can't bear to read depressing blog narrative, I definitely couldn't bring myself to write any. So I thought I would save an update til I felt a little more positive.
On top of my own down beat mood, my mum has been poorly and I have been very anxious for her. She is now on the mend and we are all relived.
So. Ta da! A blog post!
Physio started last Friday. The first appointment was more of an assessment of me physically, rather than a progressive treatment session. We looked at my x-rays and talked through the metal work and how my spine will work now. Daunting stuff. The good news is that I am right where I should be at this point, I am as mobile as I can expect to be. The downside was that she talked about recovery in terms of months rather than weeks.. And whilst I knew this, deep down I hoped it wouldn't be the case. Another thing that got me feeling under parr.
This afternoon, Paul and the kidlets came with me to visit the new Kiddicare store (it opens on Tuesday) and support me whilst I met my team, my manager and picked up my uniform (I got a coveted pink t shirt!). I was hugely nervous, because so much has changed for me since the last time (and ironically, the first and only time in this job!) I 'went to work', I found the whole thing overwhelming. Vikki (Have I mentioned that before? Given that we are both totes-amaze, we both got jobs on the same team, in the same store! Uncanny! Go team Fristie! Chranks?!) was there (working), she showed me round, introduced me to loads of people. I feel so much better. More positive. Saturday 18th May is my goal now. All focus and intent is to get myself into work on the 18th. You have achieved so much in the last four weeks, think what you can achieve in the next four Sarah! You have trained to triathlon. You can do this. You will do this.
* I am much quicker on my sticks and only took one stick to kiddicare this afternoon - I feel less pitiful on one!
* showering and dressing is all me, still using my 'handy grabber'. Although I am still unable to bend to do my own socks. They are still so frustrating! Bebe remains particularly good at helping me with my socks and Niamh is still the queen of slippers.
* 'Log rolling' in and out of bed is so so much better.
* Bending to sit has hugely improved. I am still unable to bend forward because my back is too stiff, but I think even this is improving.
* My scar is still looking good. I am using 'Bio oil' on it. There is no change to my 'blank' skin. It is still a horrible burning sensation.
* Some days I have minimal painkillers, others I take more. It depends on how active I am. There is still no back pain as such, my discomfort (ache) definitely comes from a place of healing.
Paul has been amazing this week. I am very much the home runner and organiser, I like things done my way... and I am not very good at relinquishing control. He has taken fabulous care of me, the children and the house - even dealing with my little frustrated nuances in sauve style. There is nothing you haven't turned your hand too this week, and all whilst continuing to work from home and train for your NB charity heroes commitments. Thank you. I love you ❤
With Paul back at work tomorrow, I am flying solo. With yet more amazing support from our friends, I am looking forward to being more in control. More independent.