The Fear

So. This Saturday sees my last challenge of the year (well actually its not now (more on that later) but it's the last of my original planned challenges this year!). A 66 mile cycling sportive through the New Forest.

http://www.ukcyclingevents.co.uk/events/wiggle-new-forest-100-saturday-sportive-2012/

I am terrified. Excited. But mostly terrified.

This will be my 4th cycling sportive this year, my 5th event including the Tri, and my longest cycling distance ever. Full stop. 

I am particularly terrified because I haven't done any real distance on my bike for several weeks. The last two weeks have seen me do absolutely no exercise whatsoever, bar the 20 mile ride with the puncture last weekend. And then to round it off, my stomach, whilst healing nicely, is still bruised and not happy with the invention known as a 'waist band'.

Paul is cycling with me, he has stepped in to take the place of my Dad, who has an ongoing back injury. Emma, my original sportive partner, has decided to take on the 43 mile challenge instead and I totally understand and support her decision. Yet I am still determined to complete 66 miles.

Why on earth do I NEED to do 66 miles on Saturday?! Maybe I am slightly crazy (that's a given, right!) and maybe its a secret knowledge that I CAN do it (can I?!), but more than that, I think its probably that I need to keep upping my goals and keep proving to myself that I am capable of going the distance.  If I don't have a goal, whats the point?  The last couple of weeks have been frightening from a sitting on the sofa getting used to evenings in again perspective.  I have thought about how easy it would be to just not do any exercise again.  Its a routine, I know that.  Once you're doing it, you're in the routine and I enjoy it. I love how I feel after exercise.  But once I'm on the sofa enjoying a routine of sitting..  It gets easy to say 'tomorrow'..  And that only leads me backwards 10 months. I don't want to be her - I am NOT her anymore.

With that in mind, to keep my momentum (once I find it again - I am determined!), we have been looking at our goals for next year, and I am tentatively thinking about finding an 80 mile sportive in the spring, a couple of Triathlons during the summer and then going for 100 mile sportive next autumn..  I am still thinking about a half marathon, the thought of a warm winter on a treadmill really does appeal, but I just love my bike and running really isn't the same!

Anyway.  The Kidlets are going to my parents house over night tomorrow (Friday) and Saturday is do or die.  Paul will be with me, loaded with encouragement and food and even if it takes all day, I will complete.  As he says, we'll go and have a cycle, enjoy the time together, follow the route round and it'll be done before we know it.  True.

 Wish me luck Clanettes x x